In the coaching profession, the urge to “understand” our clients may feel natural.
After all, isn’t understanding key to guiding someone effectively? Surprisingly, the answer is no—at least not in the way most of us think.
Understanding a client’s goals is not the coach’s primary responsibility. Instead, the coach’s role is to promote and evoke clarity in the conversation on the client’s goal, establish alignment, and facilitate the client’s exploration thrrough a full partnership, by being present to the client.
Letting go of the need to understand is liberating and aligns deeply with the coaching mindset.
It frees us to focus on what truly matters: empowering the client.
Here’s how—and why—this shift in perspective is essential for professional excellence.
Why Letting Go of Understanding Matters
When coaches strive to “understand” a client’s goal in the traditional sense, they risk stepping into a directive mindset.
This approach inadvertently shifts the focus from the client’s autonomy to the coach’s interpretation. But coaching isn’t about the coach making sense of the client’s aspirations—it’s about partnering with the client to help them achieve clarity and alignment within their own framework.
From a practical standpoint, the ICF guidelines make this distinction clear, particularly in Core Competency 3 (Establishes and Maintains Agreements). Nowhere does it state that a coach must “understand” the client’s goal. Instead, the emphasis is on collaboration and co-creation to:
1. Reach a clear verbal agreement on the **outcome** the client wants by the end of the session.
2. Partner with client to support them to identify the **indicators** that will demonstrate the goal has been achieved.
3. Explore the **relevance** of the session goal in the broader context of the client’s larger aspirations.
4. Partner with clients to allow the determine what they believe they need to address within the session to **open the road** toward their desired outcome.
These steps are far more actionable—and empowering—than striving to understand in the traditional sense.
The Coach’s Role in Clarifying Goals
Rather than trying to interpret or decode the client’s intentions, your role as a coach is to partner with the client to articulate their goals with precision. Here’s how to align with the ICF framework while staying fully present and client-centered:
1. Reach a Clear Agreement on the Outcome
Start by asking open-ended, curiosity-driven questions that allow the client to define their desired result:
– “What would you like to walk away with at the end of this session?”
– “What is most important for you to achieve in our conversation today?”
Your aim is not to understand the goal fully from your perspective but to ensure the client is clear on what they want.
2. Identify the Indicators of Success
Once the goal is clear, ask the client to define how they will recognize they’ve achieved it. These indicators may be internal (a feeling, realization, or shift in mindset) or external (a decision made, an action plan drafted, or clarity on a next step).
– “How will you know you’ve achieved this by the end of our session?”
– “What will success look or feel like for you in relation to your goal for today?”
Focusing on indicators helps both you and the client anchor the session in tangible outcomes.
3. Explore the Relevance of the Goal
Contextualizing the session goal within the client’s broader aspirations adds depth and meaning. This step ensures the client feels their immediate focus aligns with their bigger-picture objectives.
– “How does this goal fit into the larger results you want to achieve?”
– “What makes this outcome important to you right now?”
This exploration deepens the client’s engagement and ownership of the process.
4. Clarify What Needs to Be Addressed
Finally, co-create a roadmap for the session by identifying the key areas the client believes need attention to move closer to their goal. This step shifts the conversation into action and strategy while staying fully aligned with the client’s autonomy.
– “What do you think you need to address during this session to help you get there?”
– “What do you feel is the most important challenge or opportunity to explore today?”
This inquiry encourages the client to take responsibility for their journey while inviting them to think critically and creatively.
Why This Approach Works
Letting go of the need to “understand” the client’s goal doesn’t mean detaching from the coaching process.
On the contrary, it enhances the coach’s ability to stay present, curious, and non-judgmental.
This approach is rooted in the belief that the client is naturally creative, resourceful, and whole—a foundational principle of coaching.
By following the steps outlined above, you:
– Honor the Client’s Autonomy: The client remains in charge of their goals and the process for achieving them.
– Foster Clarity: Asking clear, targeted questions ensures both you and the client are aligned without imposing your interpretations.
– Avoid Assumptions: Staying curious prevents the coach from overlaying their own biases or perspectives onto the client’s experience.
– Stay ICF-Aligned: This method aligns perfectly with ICF Core Competencies, particularly in establishing agreements and maintaining a client-focused approach.
Embracing the ICF Perspective
As a coach, your role isn’t to decode, interpret, or deeply “understand” your client’s goals in the traditional sense. Instead, your job is to co-create clarity and alignment while empowering the client to take ownership of their journey.
Letting go of the need to understand might feel counterintuitive at first, but it is a hallmark of masterful coaching.
It shifts the focus away from the coach’s perspective and squarely onto the client’s. This mindset not only aligns with ICF standards but also deepens trust, fosters growth, and amplifies the transformative power of coaching.
So, embrace the ICF perspective. Trust the process.
And most importantly, trust your client to know the path—they simply need your partnership to illuminate it.
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