Let’s be honest—asking a client for a specific, measurable goal in a coaching session can feel… uncomfortable.
If you’ve ever squirmed in your chair, second-guessed yourself, or thought, “Am I being too pushy?”, you’re not alone.
This discomfort is something we’ve all experienced as coaches, especially in the early stages of our journey. But here’s the good news: this momentary unease is not just normal—it’s a sign you’re taking coaching seriously as the profession it is, not just a casual conversation.
Coaching isn’t about being a client’s buddy or having a heart-to-heart without direction. It’s about creating meaningful change through conversations that have intent, purpose, and direction. And that’s why getting clear on goals is so important—even when it feels a little awkward at first.
Why Does Asking for a Goal Feel Uncomfortable?
At the start of your coaching career, it’s natural to want your client to feel safe, supported, and free to explore. Asking for something specific—like a measurable, coachable goal—can feel like you’re disrupting that flow.
You might worry:
- “What if they think I’m being too rigid?”
- “What if they don’t know their goal?”
- “Am I killing the magic of the conversation?”
This discomfort often comes from a good place: you want to honor the client’s space and autonomy. But here’s the catch: without a clear goal, you’re not coaching. You’re talking. And while friendly chats are lovely, they don’t create the kind of transformation coaching is designed to deliver.
Coaching Is a Profession, Not a Casual Chat
Coaching is a structured process, grounded in skills, techniques, and research. It’s not about giving advice or simply listening—it’s about facilitating meaningful progress, nurturing awareness and revealing the client’s wisdom.
One of the most powerful tools we have is the ability to partner with clients clarify what they want. This isn’t just a preference; it’s neuroscience. Our brains respond to clarity. When a goal is specific and measurable, the brain knows what to focus on. It starts identifying opportunities, building pathways, and creating momentum.
Without that clarity, the brain stays in a fog of “I don’t know.” No actions can come from that ‘I don’t know’. And in coaching, staying stuck in that fog doesn’t serve the client—or the process.
The Discomfort Is Temporary
If you’re new to coaching or still refining your craft, the discomfort of asking for goals might feel overwhelming. It’s okay!
It might feel like you’re “asking too much” of your client, or like you’re intruding on their journey. But here’s what experienced coaches know: this discomfort is temporary.
Over time, you’ll see how much clearer and more impactful sessions become when they’re anchored in specific goals. You’ll notice your clients leaving with more clarity and confidence—and they’ll thank you for it.
Experienced coaches manage this phase by trusting the process and reminding themselves:
- Asking for a goal isn’t about control; it’s about focus.
- Clarity doesn’t limit exploration; it gives it direction and it evokes awareness.
- A coaching conversation without a goal is just that—a conversation, not coaching.
The Power of Coachable Goals
Not all goals are created equal. For a goal to be “coachable,” it needs to be:
- Specific: Clear and concrete, not vague or general.
- Measurable: You and the client should know when it’s achieved.
- Within the Client’s Control: The goal should depend on their actions, not external factors.
When you ask for a coachable goal, you’re not just following a checklist. You’re creating a foundation for the session’s success. You’re helping the client’s brain light up with clarity and possibility.
Coaching with Purpose, Intent, and Direction
Here’s the truth: Coaching isn’t a free-flowing chat over coffee.
It’s a conversation with a purpose, an intent, and a direction. That doesn’t mean it’s rigid or robotic—far from it! But it does mean that every question, every reflection, and every silence is in service of the client’s growth.
When you embrace this mindset, the discomfort of asking for a goal fades away. You’ll see it for what it is: a sign that you’re putting the client’s progress first.
How to Move Past the Discomfort
If you’re still feeling hesitant, try these strategies:
- Explain the Process to the Client
Let them know that setting a goal isn’t about narrowing their exploration—it’s about making their time as productive as possible. A simple explanation like, “To allow you to make the most of our session, what you’d like to walk away with today?”, can work wonders. - Ask Open Yet Focused Questions
Instead of saying, “What’s your goal?”, try:- “What would success look like for you by the end of our session?”
- “If you could achieve one thing today, what would it be?”
- Trust the Process—and Yourself
Remind yourself that the discomfort is temporary and that it’s part of becoming a professional coach. Trust that your role is to partner with intention, not to drift without direction. - Focus on the Client’s Growth
Whenever doubt creeps in, remember why you’re asking for a goal: to serve the client. This isn’t about you or your discomfort—it’s about their progress.
Coaching is a beautiful, transformative profession. But it’s also a skill that requires practice, structure, and courage. Asking for specific, measurable goals might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s one of the most powerful ways to ensure coaching delivers on its promise.
So embrace the discomfort. Lean into it. Trust that it’s a sign you’re growing as a coach.
And remember: Coaching isn’t just a conversation—it’s a conversation with purpose, intent, and direction. When you put the client’s progress first, you’re doing exactly what you were trained to do—and that’s something to be proud of.
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