How to cultivate curiosity and inclusivity in your coaching learning journey
In my own journey as a coach, especially during my time in the Level 2 program, I learned that becoming a coach isn’t about having all the answers right away. It’s about asking the right questions—to ourselves, our mentors, our coaching peers, and our clients. The path to certification—and to fully embodying the role of a professional coach in our lives—requires more than just learning theories. It’s about being open to learning every day, embracing uncertainty, and constantly asking questions to grow.
Now, as an Assistant Trainer at SunLight Academy, I have the privilege of supporting coaches-in-training one-on-one. In these meetings, we focus on breaking down each challenge they face, creating personalized plans that support their unique learning paths, and identifying the steps they need to take toward certification. Together, we solve challenges, clarify priorities, and work through roadblocks. This way, coaches-in-training feel supported and empowered as they move through the certification process.
What I’ve noticed is that many coaches-in-training, just like I did when I was in their shoes, often feel like they need to have everything figured out at the start of their training. They believe that there’s only one strict way to become a great coach. However, this mindset can limit growth. True learning begins when we let go of assumptions and allow ourselves to ask questions.
The Power of Asking in Coaching
As coaches, we aren’t here to provide all the answers. Our role is to help others find their own answers by asking the right questions. Coaching is about mutual learning, and it’s in this space of curiosity that true transformation occurs.
I’ve found myself thinking I needed to know something to keep going—trying to get everything “right” or “perfect.” But over time, I realized that this assumption wasn’t helping me grow. Coaching is not about knowing everything; it’s about asking questions. It’s through asking that we unlock deeper understanding, both for ourselves and for our clients.
This is where the ICF Core Competency of Embodying a Coaching Mindset comes in. It’s not about having all the right answers or being flawless. It’s about being open, flexible, and willing to explore with our clients. We learn through doing and engaging, not through memorizing facts. Asking questions creates the space for true learning to happen—both for us as coaches and for those we support.
Asking, not assuming—with our mentors and peers
In coaching, asking questions isn’t limited to our clients. It’s just as crucial in our relationships with mentors and peers. When I was going through my certification, I often thought I had to know everything or have all the answers. But that assumption left me feeling isolated and stuck. I quickly learned that asking my mentors and peers for help was essential to my growth.
Instead of trying to “perform” or fit a specific mold, I allowed myself to ask for support, ask for feedback, and explore ideas with curiosity. This openness was key to my growth. The learning process in coaching is a conversation, not a lecture. We learn from one another by engaging, questioning, and reflecting together.
By embracing this mindset, we build stronger, more authentic relationships with our mentors and peers. Asking questions helps us genuinely understand the material and apply it in real situations. It also invites continuous feedback, which is vital for improvement.
Why “ask, don’t assume” is important for DEIB principles
The “Ask, Don’t Assume” principle connects directly to the work we do as coaches in Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging (DEIB). Assumptions about someone’s background, experiences, approaches, or views can perpetuate biases, both consciously and unconsciously. We can’t create truly inclusive spaces if we assume we know someone’s experience, thoughts, or intentions without asking.
By asking thoughtful, open-ended questions, we allow people to feel seen and heard. This is where inclusivity begins—when we stop assuming and start listening to each person’s unique story. In coaching, this means embracing our clients’ diverse perspectives and experiences, rather than imposing our own assumptions about what they need or want.
As coaches, we also need to model this behavior for our clients. We can’t assume we know what’s best for them or fully understand their challenges. Instead, we must ask them questions that allow them to share their thoughts and insights, guiding them to discover their own path. This is how we create a welcoming, inclusive environment where everyone feels valued and supported.
Here are some questions to reflect on as you continue your journey:
> How have your assumptions about your learning process impacted your coaching journey so far?
> What happens when you shift from trying to know all the answers to embracing curiosity and asking more questions?
> How can you incorporate more asking—more curiosity—into your relationships with mentors, trainers, and clients?
Trusting the journey means being comfortable with uncertainty and open to asking questions. It’s not about having everything figured out immediately. It’s about moving forward step by step, being curious, and knowing that every question brings you closer to growth.
Ask, don’t assume. Because that’s where real growth happens.
